a common afternoon

a room,
in a strange city,
far from all the places I have been to

a cup of tea,
hot with suggar,
already lost the original taste of its own

a me,
lost in variety,
scrolling in front of computer

a life,
only several decades,
where is the answer for its significance?

Nonsense

To be a human, sometime, is more difficult than to be other creatures, since you can get hurt and feel pain, in particular, experience endless loneliness. Living in this society, we have connections with others, someone is your mum, who born you and in most situation araised you, someone is your father, who is there, trying to support a family, or dissappeared for various reasons, someone is your sister or brother, with whom you share the same gene, but, however, you are just totally different, independent from each other, someone is your girlfriend or boyfriend, who is so intimate to you at times, which makes you so confused, since sometime, he or she just becomes so unfamiliar and far that seems too far to be known, someone is your friend, everywhere, in some occasion, you suddenly remember him/her, and your life becomes so beautiful, and your heart just becomes so warm, however, you just refuse to contact with your friend, being afraid this beautiful memory become worth. So, I have to ask myself, why I still feel so lonely even with so many connections. And, think about others, as a sister of my brother or my sister, as a daughter of my parents, as a girlfriend of my boyfriend, as a friend of my friends, they could become less lonely because of me? or, someone is feeling more loneliness because of me? Every individual is lonely, it is the truth of human being...
On Saturday afternoon, facing a computer, with a cup of tea at hand, silent surrounding and a vacant heart, I am sitting at dorm, feeling just the pure loneliness, a luxury private time, and my soul going everywhere it is willing to go. And, I am so clear about myself, this is me, a real person. This is life.

How To Love?

1、不要经常去试探男人，更不要以分手做为威胁，当你经常给他这种心理暗示，他的潜意识就会做好分手的打算。
Don't try to irritate your man, in particular, threathening by break-up. He will prepare well subconsciously when you always give him this psychological hint.
　　2、不要因为男人爱你就无限制的扩张自己的权利，不要干涉他的理想、信仰和追求，不要自以为你比男人看的更远，他一定有些特质是你所不了解的。
Don't think you could spread your right without limit only because this man loves you. Don't interfere his ideal, faith and pursue. Don't think you could look further than a man, and man usually must have some quality you don't know yet.
　　3、不要经常迟到，不要以为男人爱你他就应该有无限的耐心，一个人的耐心是有限度的，耐心消磨完了，就该消磨爱。
Don't always be late! Man's patience is limited and he must use his love after his patience runs out.
　　4、不要信奉这句话“你爱我，你就应该知道我想什么”，这完全是一句鬼话，没有人会完全知道对方想什么。由于男人没有及时了解到你的想法，而得出男人不爱你的结论是非常愚蠢的。
Don't believe this sentence, I love you, then you should know what I am thinking. It is nonsense. Nobody will know other's thought. It is very stupid to have a conlusion of this man not loving you, since he doesn't know what you are thinking about.
5、不要经常叫男人陪你逛街，没有几个男人真正的喜欢逛街，强迫的最终结局就是反抗。
Don't push man to company you for shopping all the time. Seldom man likes shopping, and it is likely to come an end of resistance.
　　6、男人在热恋时为女孩子做的事情，不要指望他在以后的生活中一直持续下去，聪明的女孩子通常都会打五折。
Don't expect man could do all the things he did when you were firsly in love. 50% is discount at lest.
　　7、不要因为他是你最亲近的人，就可以向他倾诉一切，你的不幸、痛苦、委屈和牢骚都给他，将他做一个出气口，男人不是废品收购站，当他确认他无法改变你的时候，他就只有逃离。
Don't confide your everything to man, your adversity, pain, complaint, grief as to a vent. Man is not a garbage recycling station, and he only could choose escape after he realize he can't change you.
　　8、不要去试图改变男人，不要想着他会在你的调教下成为你理想中优秀的男人，去适应他比要改变他来的明智。
Don't try to change a man, and don't expect he could become the excellent man in your imagination. It is wiser to adapt him than to change him.
　　9、不要对自己的魅力过分自信，没有几个男人会永久的承受出尔反尔，没有几个男人可以招之即来挥之即去，除非，这个男人爱你别有动机。
Don't be too much self-confident, especially for your poor credit and a lot commands, unless he has other motivation on you.
10、不要抓住男人的一次错误不放，并在每次争吵时喋喋不休的引用，没有任何一个男人喜欢这样的女人。
Don't quoted the same mistake he made everytime. No man likes women like this.
　　11、不要用这样的思路来指导你们的爱情——在男人的言行中寻找他不爱你的证据。男人不能每时每刻将精力放在女人身上，他不可能注意到女人的每次暗示和不快。当你用放大镜来寻找灰尘的时候，总会找的到，这样做，只是在指导男人，告诉他如何不爱你。
Here is a wrong instruction on love-look for evidence in man's detailed behavior to proof he doesn't love you. It is impossible for man to put all his energy and time on a woman, and notice every detail and negative hint. You always could find something when you intended to amplify it, however, in this way, it is also give fair reasons for man not to love you.
　　12、男人在思考的时候，尽量不要打扰他，他有时也需要独处的快乐，那并不证明他不爱你。
Don't disturb him when he is thinking, and sometime, he need time to stay alone, which doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
　　13、男人和你再亲密，也不要随便伤害他的自尊，不论是在别人面前还是独处，伤害就是伤害，不论他是否爱你。
Don't hurt his dignity even you are very initimate either in front of others or alone. Hurt is hurt no matter if he loves you.
　　14、不要为男人过去的感情吃醋，也不要强迫男人告诉你，你比他以前任何一个女友都好，事实就是事实，如果他违心的说你好，他反而会记住另一个事实。
Don't be jealous of his past loves and also don't push him to say you are better than the previous. Truth is truth. If he says it against his heart, he will remember clearly another truth.
　　15、不要把自己的男人和别的男人比较，不要说他不如别人浪漫、不如别人体贴，每一个人都是特殊的，爱的方式也不同，经常这样说会使爱成为一种心理负担。
Don't compare your man with others, and don't say anything like he isn't romantic as someone else, he isn't as sweet as... . Everyone is special, and the way of love also should be special and unique. Don't make your love become a burden.
　　16、永远在男人面前保持一点神秘感，不要将自己的一切都百分之百的袒露给男人，一个人吃的太饱是会厌恨食物的，而不会感激。
Keep your mystery forever in front of a man. Don't make yourself transparent before a man. People could get fed up with food if he or she eat too much instead of appreciation. That's pathetic, however, true.
　　17、不要指望用性来获得男人，这是捕获男人最不牢靠的方式，因为爱情与肉体无关。
Don't expect to capture a man with sex. This is very insecure, since love is nothing with body.
　　18、爱情是一个磁场，而不是一个绳子，捆着他，不如吸引他。一个绳子会让男人有挣脱的欲望，而一个磁场却能给男人自由的假相，和一个永恒的诱惑。
Love is magnetic and it isn't a rope. It is better to attract him than to bind him. A rope makes man to escape, and a magnetic field always gives man free fatancy and eternal ettemption.
　　19、不要指望一个男人无条件、象个奴隶一样的爱上你(那样的男人也不值得去爱)。你要在爱情中充当一个至高无尚的女皇，最终你会发现，你将跌得很惨。
Don't expect a man love you like a slave without any condition and in fact, that kind of man doesn't worth to love. You would be very failed sooner or later if you are a queen in a relationship.
　　20、请衡量一下，如果你们的爱情是你享受了更多的权利，而对方要尽更多的义务，那你就要试着改变，爱情也适合经济学的规律，形成互赢的局面才会持久。
Please measure your relationship, if you enjoy too much right and the other part pays too much obligation. In that way, you have to change it, coz, relationship and love also fits the economic rules, the win-win result could be durable.

Passau

A YEAR LONG TO BE BACK!

It is a long time, I haven't visited my blog, there are some reasons, obviously, my dear friend readers could figure it out after this long psychological struggle as below, I promise.

People have no time to look back when they are always on the way somewhere else. That is a very sad thing, although there are always good scenery on both sides of way. I am a little tired of the life of which I am always living, however, same as others, how could I just quit it and make my life stable and calm forever. I think it over and over again, why my life is always a variable, why all my colleagues and friends settled down, boyfriend, girlfriend, being married, bearing child. And I watched too much about it everywhere. The nice thing happened always on others but me. Is it the time for me to think why? I stayed in Germany for over half year. I did not do anything, nevertheless, I did a lot. I think about myself everyday, all the time; I begin to consider how to love someone better, and how to better love myself. I wonder what is really love and happiness for myself and why I live in this world. I watch myself from several respectives and aspects so that I am so common that I just want the same thing as others, which is so hard for me to get.

As a common person, I know deeply, I am making mistakes as others. Life is like that consists of various mistakes. But, I also know, to be happy you just need to do several decision correctly, which is enough. On this cross road, I am hesitating and struggling. What could be my right decision? As I know all the time, I know what I want, but could I get it? It must be very
funny one day when I recall it and old. Hopefully, it could become a funny memory, otherwise, I do not wish one day, when I look back my life, I would be so regretful to knock my head on the wall, and grumbling, why I did not...

Why should I leave myself some regretion? This question come to me now and then. This is only one hand, on the other hand, I am trying to be a conservative lady, and keep myself doing nothing. However, I do not know why, but my experience, people who care about me, tell me, that is the right way to do? That is because of why? I can't keep asking myself. Is that to say, it is my fate to face fail, if I just do myself in my way, treating others as well as before. It is really a torture to me.

Too many questions in my head every day. Summing up them, the most important thing I think is to find the way of my living. Another very important thing, I guess, to find the right man, and together to build our future life. Let's see it my announcement. I promise to my god I will cherish what I have to be happy and for the good of my future.

This is actually a nonsense for some of you who have no any idea about me. Forgive me torturing you with "meaningless language". That is my phase of kios.

impression of Frankfurt

I already heard that Frankfurt is a financial centre of Germany and I remember the impression when I firstly came to Europe, transfering from Frankfurt, that it is so big and modern city in my eyes. Now, I have a chance to be there again, and live there for couple days for weekend, which is nice for me to give this city a new impression and deeper. Out of my imagination, this city is clean and fresh. Coincidently, that day, when I arrived there in the morning, the sunshine was so beautiful and the streats in the downtown was so nice as well. This is a typical European modern city I saw so far.

There is a very big river crossing the downtown, named Mein, and on this river there are at least I can saw 2 mental bridges, significating the modern of this city, with the shandow in the river of the skyscripers and green plants, this city shows a lot of beauty in deed.

The special thing for me is I always feeling in China, since I could hear Chinese conversation everywhere, they are usually tourism from China.

Continue Talking about Dao!!

For my friend Fabio asking an interesting question with his special view, I am really happy to give supplement to this Dao/Tao again.
Fabio said, the Dao sounds like our science, particularly Physics. I have to admit that I also consider that Laozi’s Dao is composed of a large part of contemporary science, like Physics, chemistry, Astronomy etc. The difference in my esteem lies on that, the definition of Dao is a much broader one not only including the science, we have already known today, but also the domain, where we have not categorized out and organized theoretically. For understanding the latter one, here is an example. How do you think about the Chinese Reading Palm 看手相and Reading Face看面相. Is that purely constitution? At least for me, it is not, there is a kind of science in it, but what is it exactly? As far as I know there is a discipline named zhouyi(易学) researching on it. I can not say that Zhouyi is sophisticated discipline already, in fact, I have a lot of doubts in it. Nevertheless, it is just an example, which indicates that there are a huge space within our universe, where we do not know, have not figured out, or even have not any idea yet. Generally, Dao, is too deep and unpredictable, only because of our universe is too deep and unpredictable.

here, 道，可道，非常道 literally means Dao, may describe, but, it is very difficult to describe by language. This is what Chinese say, 只可意会， 不可言传。Only could be understand and feel, but can not be spoken out by words. Why？ except the reason I mentioned above, but also because...
Dao is a kind of experience and perception. Experience is a kind of thing could not diliver, for instance, if you do not know what love is, you would not understand why someone does some stupid thing like that, because you have not this kind of feeling and experiences on it, or although you have this experience, but you did not think of it, so can not have the feeling you should have, you either could not understand it. Another example, if you never go abroad for living or study, but heard a lot on it from others, maybe some opinion you are disagree or agree, which is not the real feeling for you indeed, since you need an experience, and then you can give an real feeling, even that, you can not describe the whole feeling out, which is a kind of 只可意会，不可言传。

Moreover, Dao, it is understanded or felt in status of calmness.
it means we need a calm status and mind to think, to feel...

On this topic, Fabio, as I mentioned, nobody is wrong. It is really happy for me to discuss it with you, and share my opion. ;-)

Speaking about 道，可道，非常道； 名，可名，非常名

Incidentally, I found this sentence from my Italian friend, Stefano’s website, which makes me a little shamed, since as a Chinese, I am not so familiar with my culture at all. And I really know it is a treasure in deed I should possess. This is the first sentence in Book of Taoism, written by Laozi. Obviously, under review, I found there are really different views from different people, and everyone give an explanation from his or her respective. The interesting thing is nobody is wrong in explaining it and you could realize some wise reasons and kind of philosophy from various versions. Just for this reason, I would like to add a new view of mine on it, perhaps, it could arise resonance with some ones.
This sentence for me means, the so called Dao, or reason, approach, rules, or whatever you call it, is could be described maybe, but not with language, since our language is created by human being in fact, and this Dao is too complicated with too many faces and layers, how could our language to structure and describe it? From this looks-vague beginning, it sames that Laozi wanted to let us know, our world is composed by sky, ground, the creatures and stuffs between them, but not only limited there, there is also a kind of discipline and rule controlling the whole world in an invisible form. It is definitely deep and unpredictable.
So, with this viewpoint come to our reality and common life, all the things happen with their invariables and specific destiny. Why? Because Laizi said, there is a kind of Dao in our world, but he can not tell us clearly, not because it does exist, just because it is too complicated and unspeakable, which only could be feel and realize during many things you experience and after so much consequences you experienced saw or read. There are a lot of Dao in this world… in my esteem, everyone of us need to experience and feel.
Generally in my view, firstly, it is definitely a kind of science, just not defined yet, and need research and conclude by many of sages. Secondly, everyone’s life is a subject or discipline with specific questions and context, and during our long and short life, we as an individual, should think, considerate, mediate and conclude again and again so as to try to find the Dao of our life. Thirdly, there are 2 things should be well remembered in our life, one hand, all the things are complicated, not that simply happen, we can not easily to judge it right or wrong, so, always keep calm to face anything; another hand, concentrating on a person, everyone has his or her fate, it is not Superstition or Metaphysics, there is reason in it. Because in specific context, there is a Dao controlling us, creature to follow, in that case, whatever you meet in your life, you will do the same decision according to the Dao. Think and think, what is our Dao…?